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Thursday, July 19, 2007
everything just went so smooth today.... and i deeply felt tt god really loves me to the core.. it has only been one day tt the job get back to me, I GOT IT!!! with my dream rank as an officer and also the $$... flew into your heart at [10:52 PM]
My Name : Be||e Be||e
Favourites
Bee Bee
Dislikes
Those liar, rough talking, heartless, not honest ones.
Wishlist
To be Tai Tai
Memories
*July 2007
Music playing
º A lot of them º
My Most Talkative Friend - Lynn
Simply a Girl who sometimes dun even know wad she really wants... |ove being cared for and dote on... Trying her best to fill her world with laughter and happiness...
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this morning, bee pick me up to work.. went mac for breakfast and during lunch, he came too... i'm so delighted to see his effort.. and things kind of change at night... bee called while heading back to camp tt his going out with his friends (whom i dun like him to hang around with cos always overnight and drink!) tomorrow... i was like -_-" nt again...
i suddenly feel tt every promises tt bee made is like meant to be break.... and recall all the details during the unpleasant past... it has really been a nightmare to me.. looking back or jus the thought of it just bring the tears flowing out of my eyes... the sufferings we both went through becos of such issue... i really dun wish to have the history to repeat itself... how???
letting go ever crossed my mind... but its jus hard to let go of the long run r/s tt is already 6 years... ya... indeed.. sobx... LETTING GO... maybe one day when my heart really die and everything from bee doesn't hurt anymore, jus go numb...
as for now, my heart is only beating slower and slower... problems keep arising between us and it seems like bee no longer gives me the really secured feeling.. the msg he sent is something like this : "u jus wan me to suffer, right?" "i'm like living in a jail life.. i rather stay in camp cos there is more freedom than i'm out of camp" (meaning by my side)... :'(
i admit tt i'm very possesive.. and when it's mine, it's MINE!! i can't tolerate any nonsense and i really hate it... bee makes me feel like he's a robot, and i'm the controller... and the robot is now going to breakdown due to the massive order and pressure given by the controller... but i'm wad i'm... i tried to control myself... and tt's the best i can do.. jus tt bee doesn't give a damn and jus ignore me as a ridiculous and difficult person... *cries*
when can bee really understand? when can he realise wad i'm going through? letting go is the most unwanted thing i'll ever do... it's hard.. getting harder and harder...
Birthdate : 2nd of July
Email : Ask Me~ :Þ
shopping
ZzzzZ....
piglet
tinkerbell
People around will treat me nice
Say i'm BEAUTIFUL!
*August 2007
*September 2007
*October 2007
Links
My Most Playful Friend - Ben
My Most Picky Friend - Shawn
My Cuttie Friend - Melanie
* Shining Little Wheats *
Introduction
Rainbow Arch